New Year

So since it is the new year and I said I would be writing here more, I had the wild and original idea that I would start summing up last year...in a long, beautifully lyrical, epic post.

Last year sucked.

That was as far as I got. I could have gone on but for all the good stuff that happened last year...it was a year that was like someone put too much sour in the sweet and sour pork to leave anything other than a lingering icky taste in my mouth.

Don't get me wrong there were some stellar things about last year, but all in all? Not too sad to see it, and some people from it, pass right out of my life like an angry radioactive kidney stone.


facial expression

Tonight, I was told by a couple of my friends that I often walk not just with poise, or purpose, but a general look of and I quote I am "going to punch a fucker" to prove the point at some point while we were getting ready to go this picture was taken.

It is an interesting continuation of a conversation I have been having off and on for years with my friend Crow...about how she gives off fuck off or I will deck you vibe sand people leave her alone, but somehow my version of it is seen as a challenge.

I seriously want to joint the Evil League of Evil because maybe then people would take my "I am going to kick you in bad bad places seriously!

More on this when I am more coherent and it isn't 4am.


I know this makes me a bitch (in one of many ways really)

Damn. No more short men.

I hate to say it because I am sure there are a number of very nice short men out there, but I have come to a point in my life where when a man is my height (5'7 in bare feet) or shorter...I am all dried up. I mean there is the Sahara in my pants.

There are a couple reasons for this. Let's first look at me. I mean physically. I am not a tiny girl. I am not fat, trust me I bust my ass enough that I can honestly say I am not fat. But at 5'7, I am not a petite girl either. (No, not giving my weight or measurements) How's about we just say I can take a bastard out in a fight.

So, I really have no interest in feeling all huge around a man, esp don't really feel like being the hulkette in bed. Honestly, I enjoy feeling small, protected when wrapped up in a guys arms. I realized quite recently that I rather enjoy the feeling of being almost lifted off the ground as a guy wraps me up in a hug, or kisses me. It makes me feel unusually feminine...

YEAH THERE I SAID IT! Trust me my feminist side beats me up whenever I admit that detail. It's okay, she is currently fighting with my libido, my inner child, and my inner OCD monkey. It's a party in here I tell you.

Honestly, I can throw down. As a friend recently pointed out to me, I have always been kind of able to take care of myself, but anymore I am getting to the point of being positively lethal. I am in good shape and enjoy getting dirty, there is something fun about being able to wrestle about.

So, it's kind of nice to be with a guy who gives as good as he gets, who is bigger than me and could quite possibly win.

Now, here is the other thing. Yes of course there is the fact that my ex was short, which obviously is that whole mental BLECH want the opposite thing. Thing is, the ex, along with honestly every other short guy I have dated has had something to prove.

Man...does that get irritating.

Oh trust me I know that most people on some level have something to prove. Hell I always have something to prove. That being said, there is a reason there is a whole complex named after this particular phenom.

Not throwing the hate at short guys, I have plenty of short guy friends. Just saying that when it comes to potential playmate, boyfriend, or anything that involves anything more than playing a first person shooter on a big screen TV, I just can't do it.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go find lotion because just thinking about this topic made me dry out and chafe!


It's baaaack.

Alright, so aftera long hiatus from this blog (I still maintain my Livejournal. I never have been good at break ups, and really my LJ has been with me for 11 years now.) I am going to be coming back to it.

Not really going to go too much into my photography, other than to use it to help me make a point, or just to distract you from my poor spelling and grammar.

I have spent a lot of time going over blogs, and in the last couple years I have written for a number of them, analyzed others, worked on SEO for blogs, and really? BUrned myself right out on it. Basically it became...work. And really? Who wants to work when they are not at...work.

Not that anyone who knows me would believe me, but I also burned out on writing and felt as though I had nothing to say. Pff. Now, picture a teakettle about to explode or whatever mental cliched image you can (no, please don't picture me as a giant penis about to spew goo.) But there you have it,ready to write again.

I dunno, maybe being married for that little bit of time sucked the life and the creativity right out of me and I shouldn't blame it on work?


Working with models

Once burned twice shy, that is the cliche saying isn't it? I really tend to be a person who thinks, once burned...Hey! Let's try again and see if that is the norm for the situation!

Sadly, it worked out to be the shy that has won out when dealing with models. (This post is a long one)

Please be aware, that in this entry I am specifically talking about models. Not people getting portraits done for their significant other, senior portraits, etc...but models.

As a new photographer in the field of portraits, models, etc (You know taking pictures of people who want pictures as opposed to your family members and close friends who sit for you because they like you?) I have found that a couple bad experiences with models has left me with a bad taste in my mouth which leaves me extremely hesitant to reach out on sites like Model Mayhem, One Model Place, or any of the others.

Right now for the most part I am looking for TFP (trade for print) unless I really am looking to do something very specific. TFP is a mutually beneficial relationship for new photographers and new models.

As I mentioned before I used to model, and so I have a pretty good understanding of TFP, as well as when the model should pay or should expect to be paid. If the photographer is being paid by a company to get specific shots, the model could expect to be paid. If the photographer is planning to make money off the shot, I could see how you would expect to be paid. If the model is asking the photographer to do something specific, then the model might have to pay.

My first experience with models posing for me, was in Hawaii. The girl, to be frank, was a typical cookie cutter blond with no spark...pretty enough but no spark. She had only had one other photographer ever take her picture and was looking for TFP. Great I thought this works perfectly. Turns out she had been talking to another model, a man, about doing something together. He was mocha skinned and quite good looking. Okay, so they came as a package deal.

The day itself went alright, I knew I had gotten a couple good shots. The issues were, she was timid...I was not doing nudes, but in every shot she looked stiff. Looking back on it now, I will take the blame partially for that because I should have figured out ways to get her to relax.

The one that really threw stones in the soup was the guy. He was a total prima donna, complaining about the cold, demanding that I only take pictures in poses as he directed...and he also bullied her. Eventually I worked around it, but it was not a pleasant experience.

All of this I could write off though, as personalities. What came later is what bothered me.

I had let both models know, and it said in the TFP contracts I had them sign that this was something I did in my own time after I was done with a day job. It said to not expect the images for a minimum of 5 weeks, because of the full time job consideration. I also told them that I would do my best to get them one or two finished shots a little earlier.

The two teaser shots I got to them within a couple days, along with a polite note that I was flying back to New Orleans and would mail them CDs after they were done being processed.

Within a week of my getting back I got an email from the blond, wanting to know if the pictures were done yet. I wrote back that I hadn't had time to finish them yet, but would in the next few weeks. At week 2 she had written nasty messages to my email as well as on my profile on the model/photographer site we were both on. By week 4 (and remember almost all the pictures were done by this point, but the contract had said minimum 5 weeks) she filed a complaint with the site against me.

I explained to the site what was going on and emailed them a scan of the contract, showing that she had not paid me to have the images done in a specific time. I sent her her pictures and hoped it would be the end of it. It wasn't. Every time this girl saw someone post a public message about wanting to work with me, or having recently worked with me, she would go to their page and be obnoxious.

Around this time I decided to not deal with it (throw in 3 flake models who wasted my time) and I left that site never to look back.

To this day I have only done a model shoot with one other model that I didn't know personally. I know that as I get into portrait work more, I will have people coming to me that I don't know...but those are people looking to have portraits taken, or events documented...not models that are on the "modeling sites". So here is to getting over my issues dealing with models.

Note: I am not saying that all models are like this, but to my experience the modeling sites that are all the vogue lately, seem to breed this attitude of snobbery and diva-ness in people who are just starting out.



Guys with Cameras.

Alright, saying Guys with Cameras will probably get SOMEONE up in arms because I am sure there are girls doing it too, but really I am talking about the wank masters who have a camera and take advantage of girls who want to be models by taking pictures for their personal spank files.

Say it with me now...EW.

With the invention of digital cameras it is now possible for everyone to be a "photographer". I am not going to bitch, I do everything in digital. That being said, not everyone with a digital camera IS a photographer that you (as a model) should be posing your pretty little bits for.

The guys I am talking about tend to be on things like Craigslist or Model Mayhem.com. They don't really care so much about taking a good picture as they do about being able to get a girl naked.

There are SO many of these guys out there I don't know if there would be any way to track them. Maybe we could start a photojerk.com site or something, where when a model or a photographer has had an issue with a GWC they could register them there (with moderation of course). Having modeled for a while before taking up a camera on my own I had been solicited by a lot of these guys.

I have heard a lot of stories from other models about getting to a shoot to have the photographer have a "point and shoot" camera (or sometimes a little better) who started asking them to do more than they originally agreed to. Or, even if they had agreed to doing nude, to start doing some poses that the model saw as lewd or gross (like that whole spread eagle show me all the way to your uterus pose. Come on now...WHO DOES THAT!?)

Note: I am not saying the quality of the camera indicates a GWC or not, but it is often a good starting indicator.

There are so many horror stories about these guys. I once set up a shoot that was to be outdoors vintage dresses with a vintage car. After agreeing to the shoot and arranging with a friend to have someone go with me, the guy started to send me emails trying to "talk" me into posing nude. Eventually I told him thanks but no thanks.

Listen, a model should never be asked to do something she isn't comfortable with. And if the model gets there having agreed to do nudes? Always have a second party there, tell them to bring someone they are comfortable with or have an assistant there with you...and damn if the model has changed her mind? WORK with it. GWCs tend to get pissy and mad at a model for not "going all the way" they said they would (I will post about what I think you should do as a model, and what I ask models to do with me before they do a shoot with me...not that I do much with models right now)

The line between a fine art photographer and a GWC to some is vague supposedly. Alright, come on now, you can't tell the difference between someone like Scott Church who does beautiful glamour nudes...at the REQUEST of his models...and some wanker who posts on craigslist looking to do TFP nudes?? What is WRONG with you? I know that the glamour nude photographers I know (doing a shoot for a bride to give to her husband for example) are sometimes seriously hindered by these creeps.

So GWCs? Put down the point and shoot and go surf porn on the net like the rest of the internet population. Or, if you are into that sort of thing and like the role playing of it? Advertise yourself as such. Or if you really want to be a photographer, why not start a portfolio and take classes and work your way up to getting women naked?